Check Yo Self
Hello Soul Stretcher!
This weeks episode of Soul Stretch Sunday was inspired by an event that took place last summer. While on vacation in Joshua Tree, I experienced adult bullying from a complete stranger.
It was hot. July in the desert is no joke. I was high from a two-hour yoga class. I had artisanal nitrous cold brew flowing through my veins and a cheek to cheek smile on my face. Did I mention the hot yoga? I was proud. It was an all-around good day. That was until a complete stranger verbally attacked me.
A twenty-something-year-old man took it upon himself to go out of his way and verbally sandblast me. It scared me! Mainly because it was so unexpected and also so unnecessary!
This episode was not the first experience of adult bullying I have encountered. I have been degraded for my appearance (weight, height, and hair color), my spiritual and political beliefs, and my gender. I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt in the past. Except for this encounter in the desert was different. I was able to see this man's pain. I was able to see the sadness in his eyes. I spent the rest of the day dissecting the moments leading up to the incident, the attack itself, and my involuntary response. I laughed! It was so silly to me that a grown man was still playing in the sandbox trying to push me down. But here's the thing, I had to work hard to not internalize and believe his words. And therein lies the golden nugget;
YOU DON"T HAVE TO BELIEVE OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS OF YOU!!!
Who in your life bully's you? A co-worker, a parent, a sibling, a spouse/partner, a friend, or even your own children?
Do you believe them or have you in the past?
When they insult you and derail your truth, do you fall victim to their projections? Do you say to yourself, "they must be right!"
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you believe them? Why do they get the power?
In my private practice working with teens, they encounter bullying A LOT. But guess what?! So do my adult clients! We are not immune to it in a society where there is a perpetual pain cycle.
In case you're wondering what a pain cycle looks like - here is a rudimentary pain cycle example for you;
Dad has a bad day at work because his boss yelled at him. Dad goes home and yells at mom for burning dinner. Mom yells at their kid for being unmotivated or lazy for getting poor marks in school. Kid kicks the dog. Dog bites the cat. Cat scratches the dad ... the pain cycle continues.
Tune into this week's episode of Soul Stretch Sunday where I dissect the anatomy of bullying. These concepts apply to people of all ages!
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Love + Light